I had been away from my art for 3 or 4 months. There was simply no wind in my sails. Then this one came thundering through:
I have experienced the “dissolving/becoming”. It was terrible/wonderous!
I lost myself. I fell.
To lose ones self, to me, must be a form of Grace, where something profound happens that we could not do ourselves>> to un-do us… to disillusion and dissolve us. Our sense of identity ( ego mind ) is mostly false and must unravel, incinerate, because it is made up of inner lies and projections and delusions… ie. not based in Reality. Asleep. This to me is a magical occurance, while at the same time… it can feel like a death by a thousand cuts, if we resist. It is a fundamental element of True transformation… if we allow it. If we resist or attempt to control…. we will experience suffering… and maybe get stuck in it.
It is much like the caterpillar in the cocoon… the juices of transformation dissolves the worm and at the same time the butterfly is forming… and it will FLY!!
Mysterious and and brilliant is this process.
We have only to be humbly un-attached to any outcomes of any stories… and surrender to it. Trust.
The rest takes care of itself, once we get out of our own way.