I have been away from my art for 3 or 4 months. There was simply no wind in my sails. Then this one came thundering through:
I have experienced the “dissolving/becoming”. It was terrible/wonderous!
I lost myself. I fell.
To lose ones self, to me, must be a form of Grace, where something profound happens that we could not do ourselves>> to un-do us… to disillusion and dissolve us. Our sense of identity ( ego mind ) is mostly false and must unravel, incinerate, because it is made up of inner lies and projections and delusions… ie. not based in Reality. Asleep. This to me is a magical occurance, while at the same time… it can feel like a death by a thousand cuts, if we resist. It is a fundamental element of True transformation… if we allow it. If we resist or attempt to control…. we will experience suffering… and maybe get stuck in it.
It is much like the caterpillar in the cocoon… the juices of transformation dissolves the worm and at the same time the butterfly is forming… and it will FLY!!
Mysterious and and brilliant is this process.
We have only to be humbly un-attached to any outcomes of any stories… and surrender to it. Trust.
The rest takes care of itself, once we get out of our own way.
Oh jan, you have been away for awhile, but my oh my…what a comeback!! From the first moment you began showing me this beauty, I was taken in, first by the colors, how they just worked so beautifully, and I am not sure what that green has in it (some kind of magic I think:) but it make all the other colors become more so..more blue, more yellow, more orange and pink.. all set against a mysterious infinite sky. Your figure, and this is the first time you use a figure in more than year I think, is just so alluring..an angel, a unisex presence who has dropped down among the birds the greenery, the life and foliage of the earth plane, almost pained in this process, but also in ecstasy becoming part of what he has descended into. Then right hand points upwards to higher planes, and also to action. The left hand is over the heart, passive, waiting, patient and feeling. I see both the dissolving and the becoming in this enigmatic figure, but especially I see its becoming, its coming together from pieces that were blown away and now realign making him/her whole, and even more full of wisdom, a totally aware being. I could go on and on and I have with you personally, but for me this is one of your very best..truly, with no exaggeration, most assuredly, one of your very best. The process you lived to be able to paint this is also amazing..Dear Artist…you just keep getting better!!